Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m.: who do you want it to be?
Hopefully it's a burglar or Robert Pattinson, because at 2:00 in the morning I don't care who I'm beating up with a metal baseball bat.
Will you marry me?
Sure, why not?
...Really?
Nope.
You're mean.
That's not a question.
You're stuck on an elevator with George Clooney, George W. Bush, George Washington, and George Lopez. What happens?
All hell breaks loose. George Washington and George Bush get into a bloody fistfight, George Lopez and I bet on who's gonna win, and George Clooney is curled up in the fetal position in the corner. Eventually, a bunch of middle aged women break into the elevator, kidnap George Clooney, and set a bomb in the elevator. However, I summon my teleporting pikachu (who is part of the bomb squad) to come an diffuse it. But because pikachu is a total jerk and visiting his sick grandma in the hospital (that bastard), George Lopez and I climb out of the giant hole that the women left in the ceiling. We tried to tell the other Georges, but they were too busy trying to kill each other, so... yeah.
Please complete this thought: I have come to realize that I will always be...
...named Laura. Because I don't know how to change the name of this blog, and if I have a blog with "Laura" in the title and my name is not Laura, then the world will come to an end. Pigs will take flying lessons, the Devil will ice skate to work, and Rick Astley will make a comeback.
Do you think the world will end in 2012?
Yes! You see, I found my cat's plans hidden under the house and-
Wait. Can't talk. She's watching me. O.O
Oh, you meant as in the natural disaster thing like in the movie? Hmmm.... I dunno. I highly doubt that John Cusack is one of the guys who'll make it out alive. I wonder how many people will successfully upload videos of the tsunami and stuff to youtube before they explode?
Tell you what. I'll bet you $1000 bucks that it won't happen. That way if it doesn't happen, I get a thousand bucks. And if it does happen, we all die.
(This is why I shouldn't work on this blog while high off pepsi)
What color is your bedroom carpet?
Before or after the explosion?
If you ruled the world, what would your official national language, animal, flower, food, and religion (or non-religion) be called?
I've had this planned out for years:
Language: Penguinese and Flangerhangerdangindurgin (it's a language, I thought you knew that)
Animal: Llama. No, Penguin. No... Llamapenguin. No... pengllama. Yes. And the pikachu. There's two national animals.
Flower: The Night Flower. Ya know, like from The Land Before Time 4: Journey Through the Mists. He he. I LIKE DINOSAURS.
Food: Pasta. OHMYGOD pasta.
Religion: Lauraism. It's my cult.
What song do you want played at your wedding?
Hmmm... For Whom The Bell Tolls. Romantic, right? If the groom absolutely refuses to slow dance to Metallica (why am I marrying this guy again?), then I suppose... Smells Like Teen Spirit. Nirvana. Now that's a love song.
Would you rather see Miss Page in a bikini or jump off a cliff?
If you ruled the world, what would your official national language, animal, flower, food, and religion (or non-religion) be called?
I've had this planned out for years:
Language: Penguinese and Flangerhangerdangindurgin (it's a language, I thought you knew that)
Animal: Llama. No, Penguin. No... Llamapenguin. No... pengllama. Yes. And the pikachu. There's two national animals.
Flower: The Night Flower. Ya know, like from The Land Before Time 4: Journey Through the Mists. He he. I LIKE DINOSAURS.
Food: Pasta. OHMYGOD pasta.
Religion: Lauraism. It's my cult.
What song do you want played at your wedding?
Hmmm... For Whom The Bell Tolls. Romantic, right? If the groom absolutely refuses to slow dance to Metallica (why am I marrying this guy again?), then I suppose... Smells Like Teen Spirit. Nirvana. Now that's a love song.
Would you rather see Miss Page in a bikini or jump off a cliff?
I think the proper question is, "Would you rather see Miss Page in a bikini or jump off a cliff into a large container of boiling water filled with twenty bloodthirsty sharks, two seabears (via Bikini Bottom), a pregnant Elmo, the bastard child of Freddy Krueger and Jason, Cthulhu, a time bomb, and a mob of Cthulhu cosplayers with machetes, and then have the entire world explode?"
And my answer is... whatever that second part says.
It better not be. My brother's birthday is ten days later and I want cake. And unless Paul McCartney was the Second Coming, then no.
Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes. Myself. And the voices in my head. HEH. HEH. They tell me stuff. They told me to make this blog. Explains so much, right?
...what was the question?
...what was the question?
No. My pikachu did stuff to him...
now it's the Easter Pikachu! YAY!
What famous person would you like to meet?
-cough-JaredLeto-cough-
What did you say?
Jackie Chan. Moving along...
Are you invited to the royal wedding?
Well, of course. Why wouldn't I? They love me! We go waaaaaay back. Didn't you see me? If you watch it, look reaaalllly closely and you can see me and Pikachu in the corner. Pikachu is wearing a tux, and I'm wearing my formal t-shirt and jeans. We were there the whole time (as far as you know).
Who's hotter, Captain Kirk or Indiana Jones?
Hmmm... since Jared Leto isn't on that list I have to go with Indiana Jones. I don't want to be attracted to Cpt. Kirk because he's kind of a player. Then again so is Indiana Jones...
If the word was made of Jello, what flavor would it be?
If the world was made of what now? Uh, whatever. It would be... RAINBOW FLAVORED.
You say you've never had rainbow Jello? Then you are a loser. It is the most amazing flavor there is. It is, like, the Nirvana of Jello (and I don't mean the band this time). You have not lived until you have eaten rainbow Jello.
...Sadly, it's outlawed in all continents except for Antarctica. Better start studying your Penguinese.
What flavor would you be?
Orange.
...What, were you expecting a more entertaining answer?
Are you a truck?
Wait, what? Um, no, as far as I am aware, I am not, in fact, a truck. This blog is not owned by a truck. Though if you want, I can redirect you to the blog of the Ironhide the Autobot's blog. He's a truck. Kind of. Yes, Transformers have blogs. I thought you knew that. GAWD.
Will you marry me?
Isn't it a little soon to be trying this again?
Would you rather eat your mom or have to watch Mulan with me (Lorna) 10 times in a row?
Hmmm. I don't know if my mom would appreciate getting eaten. She makes me food. How about, I jump off the cliff with all the bad stuff like Cthulu and Elmo or whatever the hell it was that I said...
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
Llamas
Are
Undermining
Russia's
Authority
What are your top six snack foods?
6. Fried Arctic Tern
5. Noms. A nom is what you get when you crossbreed a cheeto, a frito, and a dorito.
4. Rainbow Jello
3. The hopes and dreams of children
2. Penguin-munchies. They're these little bags of penguin food.
1. Trail Mix. What were you expecting?
Who's better, Chuck Norris or Feragho?
Chuck Norris. Pfft, I'm waaaay off Ferahgo. Klitch, on the other hand, wooow. Although Jared Leto beats all three. Yes, even Chuck Norris. Maybe not in the days before he started doing infomercials, but now...
What is the area of a circle with a radius of 5?
Banana.
Can I shoot this tree? If not, can I shoot you?
Sure, you can shoot this tree. But be prepared for a bunch of hippie tree huggers to come and destroy you.
If Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris had a baby, would you marry it?
How did he had a baby with himself? Wait, I remember. That time machine accident of '96. Many injuries. Numerous deaths. Many lives completely devastated. It was awesome.
Anyway, the answer is yes. Even though apparently I'm already married to, like, five individuals, most of whom are fictional. WHO CARES?
Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Please read it aloud to the class.
I don't understand how this is an FAQ question but alright.
"Any reason you had to blow up my shop?"
I think I like this book :D
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?
The dinosaur. RAWR. They laid eggs, and then the chickens are all like, "Hey, we wanna be cool like dinosaurs! Let's lay eggs too." So they did, even though they're just rip offs. So, to answer your question, the egg.
Which is worse, "Baby" or "Friday"?
I'm sorry, but the number you have reached has been disconnected. Our servers detect that the person you are asking for attempted to jump off a cliff into a large container of boiling water filled with twenty bloodthirsty sharks, two seabears, Elmo (who just gave birth), the bastard child of Freddy Krueger and Jason, Cthulhu, a time bomb, and a mob of Cthulhu cosplayers with machetes, and tried to make the world explode. Don't worry, she is fine. All of those cosplayers will never be the same again. Yes, this is a machine voice.
What song do you want played at your funeral?
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life. What of it?
What is your favorite holiday?
Money Day! It's a holiday where friends and family around the globe come together to give me money and celebrate my awesomeness.
Do any of your friends have children?
Not that I'm aware of. Although, after the time machine incident, anything's possible.
Who is Chickenhound's father?
I've been waiting to answer this! His father is-
A random ninja jumps through the window and drags me away. However, Pikachu is more than willing to answer for me.
Pika pika pi. Pikachu pi chu kachu pika.
And so, the mystery of Chickenhound's father is finally revealed.
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