So, the other day I went out to McDonald's (or, at least, tried to) and it got kinda weird... Here's a brief summary:

Laura drives up to the take-out window.
Dude at window: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger, can I take your order?
Laura: Oh, sorry, I thought this was McDonald's. I-
Dude: YOU SAID THE FORBIDDEN WORD!
Laura: What, McDonald's?
Dude: Yes, that. It's practically blasphemy to say that word on the property of another fast food chain.
Laura: Yeah, I don't really care. I'm leaving now.
Dude: WAIT! I can report you Fast Food Police for this!
Laura: Oh, really? There's a fast food police force now?
Dude: Yes, and they're gonna arrest you if you don't order something now.
Laura: Sigh. Alright, whatever man. I'll have a cheeseburger, no pickles. And uh, -turns to Pikachu in the passenger seat- you want anything, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika pika.
Laura: Yeah, we'll have a pika pika, supersize it.
Dude: A wha...?
Random guy in the back of the car: I would like a bacon cheeseburger, if you'd be so kind.
Laura: Who are you?! -turns around- George Washington?!
George Washington: I wanted a bacon cheeseburger and I heard you were going to McDonald's, so I climbed in through the trunk.
Laura: Uh, alright, but I thought you were...
George: Dead? Yeah, well, I got bored of being dead, so here I am.
Laura: ...right...
Dude: Anything else, ma'am?
Laura: No one calls me ma'am without my permission. If I wasn't hungry, I'd kill you.
Dude: Am I going to have to call the Fast Food Police Force?
Laura: No, no. That's alright. Can we have a bacon cheeseburger?
Dude: Sure. Is that all?
Another random dude in the back of the car: I'm thirsty! Order a large pepsi!
Random Dude #2: Pepsi!? PEPSI!? You're crazy, man! Coke is where it's at!
Laura: -turns around again- Donald Trump and Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Donald Trump: Can I get a free toy?
Laura: What? No, I, uh... how'd you two get in here without me noticing?
George: Oh, they've been here the whole time.
Laura: ...What?
Dude: You're holding up the line.
Laura: Listen. I have a dead president and two celebrities in the backseat. I'm a bit busy at the moment.
Donald Trump: I can't believe you like Coke! Pepsi is the best!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: OH YEAH?
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Donald Trump proceed to have a catfight. George Washington and Pikachu place bets on the winner. 
Laura: Yeah, let's get a Pepsi and a Coke.
Different Dude at Window: What? Sorry, no speak the English good.
Laura: A PEPSI AND A COKE. ONE OF EACH. LARGE.
Suddenly, the Terminator jumps out of the trunk.
Laura: Oh, great. Listen, Sarah Connor isn't here and I'm not pregnant with John Connor.
The Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger gaze into each other's eyes. 
Donald Trump: I'm going to get out of here before this gets X-rated.
He climbs out the open window, where he is kidnapped by a Purple People Eater, because apparently Donald Trump is a purple person.
Laura: Terminator! Stop doing that to Arny! You're the same person! -turns to window- I think that's all.
George Washington: Wait! I want onion rings!
Laura: Well you're not getting onion rings! Hey, where's Pikachu?
Pikachu teleports back just before the building explodes. Laura drives away quickly, trying to avoid a lawsuit.
Pikachu: Pika pi pika?
Laura: No, no, you've never mentioned that you're a pyro.
Pikachu: Pi... kachu.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Terminator run off into the sunset together, George Washington plans to run for president in the next election, and Donald Trump is presumably eaten. It's a happy ending for everyone. Except all those people in the building.

You know how I mentioned that pikachu in the last post? Well, it turns out that he's kind of a jerk. The other night, there was an incident, and he wouldn't bail me out! I was all like, "heyyy could you give me bail money?" and he was all like "pika pika". Something like this:

Police dude: You get one phone call.
Me: Wow this guy must be new. I actually get a call this time... Thanks. Hmmm... who to call? My parents would be happy to bail me out. But I don't want to put them through this again. Maybe a friend...? No, no, half of them are in jail and the other half would be too lazy. I know! I'll call pikachu. (Dials phone). C'mon, answer it you stupid rat.... 
*click*
Pikachu: Pika?
Me: Hi, Pikachu, this is Laura.
Pikachu: Pi. 
Me: So, uh, I got into a little trouble today.
Pikachu: Pikachu pika.
Me: No, I didn't see machine gun wielding capybara again.
Pikachu: Chu.
Me: (sigh) No, no I didn't try to steal the giant donut outside of the donut place again.
Pikachu: Pika pika chu pi.
Me: Look, it doesn't matter what happened. I just need, like, $100.
Pikachu: Pi.
Me: Why not? Dude, you're my only chance here.
Pikachu: Cha. Pikachu pika pika.
Me: ...You don't have thumbs, how in the world did you play poker?
Pikachu: Pika.
Me: I suppose so. Heh heh, potatoes have so many uses. But you have to have some money left. Squirtle couldn't have won all the money at the poker game.
Pikachu: Pi...
Me: Jeez, really? Cheater. And I thought that Mario was the one who cheated badly. You don't have $100 though? I'll pay you back as soon as possible!
Pikachu: Pikachu.
Me: Look, I told you, I'll pay that $50 back when my harpooning business takes off! I'll just add in this $100 and-
Pikachu: Pika pika. Chu, pikachu pi.
Me: C'mon, please?! I can't spend the night in jail. I owe money to some of the inmates!
Pikachu: Kachu.
Me: Listen, you little mouse. If you don't give me that money, I'll take you out to Mexico, tie you to a cactus, and you will be eaten by rabid donkeys. Is that what you want?
Pikachu: Pikachu pi cha.
Me: Nah, they just say that they screen these calls to try and scare you.
Police dude: Excuse me, you've been-
Me: SHUT UP! I'M ARGUING WITH MY PIKACHU.
Police dude: I'm going to need backup for this.
Pikachu: Pika chu pi chu.
Me: Shut up, Pikachu.
Pikachu: Pi.
Police dude: Ma'am, I-
Me: DID YOU JUST CALL ME MA'AM?!
Pikachu: Pika! :O
Me: Nobody... nobody... nobody can call me ma'am without my consent.
Police dude: Ma'am, I can do whatever I want.
Pikachu: Pi :P
Me: Shut up pikachu. Listen, buddy, the last time somebody called me "ma'am", they couldn't find enough of him to convict me.
Police dude: Ma'am, you were already arrested. Just put down the phone and-
Me: I have a pikachu! He could kill you! Right pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika! >:D
Police dude: You're crazy. Pikachus don't exist. Even if you knew one, how would it get here?
Me: Didn't you know? MY pikachu can teleport.
Pikachu: -poofs into room- Pika!
Me: I've always wanted to say this in context. PIKACHU! USE THUNDERBOLT 2.0!
-Censored for extreme violence involving thunderbolt 2.0, an explosion, swearing, teletubbies with machetes, and many, many, many, many unnecessary deaths-