Yes, FAQ. I was bored, and then I remembered that I have a blog. I also found a random, stupid questions generator. So, I decided to make an FAQ. Why am I calling it an FAQ? I'm sure people have wanted to ask me these questions all the time. These questions seem to be about random people... I dunno. I swear I didn't make (most) of these up. Some of them I got to input a name for, then a random question popped up. I had too much fun with that.
Q: Will a werewolf eat green eggs and ham?
Well, yeah, of course! Why wouldn't he?! Only that weird guy with that cool hat doesn't like green eggs and ham, and he dies in the end of the book. Wait... did we read the same version?
Q: If you could do anything with a Pikachu, what would it be?
I've been planning for this for years. Okay, after I obtain the pikachu, I'd nickname it Squirtle, because Squirtle is an awesome name. Then, I would gather a bunch of people to come see my awesome pikachu. I'd invite celebrities, world leaders, powerful businessmen, all the important people. Then, at the unveiling of my Squirtle-Pikachu, I'd demand that I be given world dominance or my pikachu would destroy the world with its yellowness. They'd obviously comply, understanding the destruction that a pikachu can cause if it's high enough (don't ask how they know, my lawyer said I'm not allowed to talk about it). And after I take over the world, I'll still unleash Squirtle. The only people I willingly spare are people that I deem awesome, Chuck Norris (I need him on my side 'cause he's the only force that can stop a pikachu), and possibly the creator of pokemon. I don't remember his name. Some Japanese-ish name, I'm sure.
Woah, that's a lot of text. SCARY.
Q: Would you marry the O RLY Owl?
Hmmm. I dunno. His face would get really annoying after a while.
I would get tired of coming home to that every day.
And our conversations would be dull. It would be like, "Hey, honey, I think we should do something special to celebrate our 1 month streak of me not punching you in the face." "O RLY?" "Look what you did. You broke our streak."
Q: Hot Ron Weasley on Jennifer Lopez action - Yes/No?
Wait, what? That's just wrong. Ron is mine. Back off, Jen.
Q: If Steve Jobs were to be mistaken for a celebrity, who would it be?
Wait, what? (x2). I guess he would be mistaken for himself...? This generator's annoying me.
Q: Do you trust the voice in your head?
No, the voices are not on your side! I used to trust them, but ever since the fruit loops incident, I've learned not to listen to them.
Q: What is the "fruit loops incident"?
Who are you, and how did you get this number?
Q: What?
Nevermind. I'm not allowed to talk about the fruit loops incident. My lawyer was very clear on that. In fact, she says that if it hadn't been for the fruit loops incident, I might have won the pikachu case.
Q In a race between you, Chuck Norris and Darth Vader, who would win?
It would be very close, but Chuck Norris would come in first simply because he's, well, Chuck Norris. Then, Darth Vader and I would tie, and get in a big argument about who gets second place. The arguement would break out into a lightsaber duel, resulting in me losing a hand and learning that he is my uncle. I stab him, get a cool robotic arm, then Chuck Norris and I go out for smoothies.
Q: Spongebob and a creepy hairy guy are forced to roleplay out a verbal couple fight. Who gets to play the wife?
The creepy hairy guy.
Q: Would you love to read Arnold Schwarzenegger's very personal diary?
YES. OH, YES. THAT JUST MAY BE THE BEST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN IN THIS LIFETIME.
Q: What if you found out that Marvin the Paranoid Android was secretly an alien plotting to take over the world together with the Burger King?
I thought he was an alien... robot... thing. Whatever. Well, I couldn't have my pikachu induced dictatorship be threatened, could I? First, I would ask Marvin to tell me his opinion on life. That would give me a few thousand years at least. I'd leave a cardboard cutout of myself to keep him talking. Then, I'd unite McDonald's, Jack in the Box, and Wendy's together into one, horrible fast food empire. It'd call it: McWendy's in the Box. I would then have McWendy's in the Box destroy the Burger King and all of his army. After that, I would have McWendy's in the Box flamethrowered. Yes, flamethrowered is a word now. Moving on, I would charge people to come and listen to Marvin discuss life.
Q: What musical instrument would Link most likely play?
An ocarina. Duh.
Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European swallow?
Q: Have you dreamt of a breakdancing zombie before?
Only like ten times! Not as often as the possessed capybara.
Q: Bob the Llama Farmer is actually a breakdancing zombie in disguise, you know.
That's not a question, so I refuse to acknowledge it further.
Q: If Domo Kun and Zaphod Beeblebrox teamed up, what would they most likely accomplish?
(What's with all this HG2TG stuff? This generator is epik) My God. That is an amazing idea. I'm pretty sure that together, they could take over the world. Assuming, of course, Squirtle spontaneously combusted or killed himself or something. Then again, I've never heard of a suicidal pikachu. I don't think that pikachus can burst into flames either. I don't know for sure, I've never met a pikachu. Yet. How did I get on this topic? Oh well, back to the question. Oh, yeah. If Domo and Zaphod Beeblebrox teamed up, they could accomplish anything they wanted. Why? Because their combined levels of awesomeness would make this world a better place. Just think of it. We would all worship Domo (more than we already do). Babel Fish would become a popular pet and dish, while also letting students get good grades in foreign language classes. People could turn into perfectly safe penguins. Computers could commit suicide when guys play too much CoD.
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