The Land Before Time 2: The Great Valley Extinction

Scene 1
It is a happy day in the valley. The sun is shining, the giant prehistoric butterflies are fluttering, and Littlefoot and his friends are playing together and are not singing because dinosaurs don't do that. This scene lasts for about four seconds before the director got bored and switched to another scene.


Scene 2
Outside of the valley, in the earthquake torn wasteland, a pack of velociraptors is getting ready for a hunt. They haven't had a decent meal in a few weeks (hence the earthquake torn wasteland) and are rather desperate. Their leader is ready to address the pack with some important news. He has a badass facial scar because the director thought it would be cool.

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

Alright everyone, listen here. I know times are tough. After all, we live in an earthquake torn wasteland, right? But everyone keep in mind, we're velociraptors. We don't have to worry! We're among the most amazing creatures to walk this planet. I know you're all hungry, but I have a plan! I heard of a wonderful valley where the herbivores took refuge a few years ago, the Great Valley they called it.

VELOCIRAPTOR 1

What's so great about it?

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

How should I know? We're not allowed inside! They discriminate against carnivores like us. I say enough is enough. Let's claim our right! Just because we eat meat doesn't make us villains! We need to survive, dammit! We need screen time in this series! Let's go visit Dino-Eden and eat them like real dinosaurs would!

The crowd of velociraptors cheer at his speech.

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

All we have to do is follow the sun, go past the rock that looks like a brontosaurus, and past the volcanoes. Any questions?

 VELOCIRAPTOR 2

Yeah. What is a brontosaurus? And a volcano? And... and the sun?

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

Sigh. Stupid kiddy-movie dialogue. Forget it, let's just get going before we starve to death out here.

Crowd of velociraptors cheer again.

Scene 3

Littlefoot and his friends are sitting in the valley, extremely bored. Not at a Laura level of boredom, mind you, but they're close. They're sitting around talking, because video games wouldn't be invented for a few years.

CERA

I. Am. So. BORED. It cannot be natural to be this bored!

DUCKY

Yeah, I mean, what are dinosaurs supposed to do all day? Eat stuff and go rawr? I don't think so.

PETRIE

Hey, you guys remember when we were stranded in the earthquake torn wasteland and everyday was an ordeal as we searched desperately for food and water and ran from the relentless killing machine Sharptooth? When did being bored become such a big concern for us?

CERA

Shut up, Petrie, no one likes you. 

LITTLEFOOT

C'mon guys, let's go play in the tar pits.

PETRIE

What? But that's ridiculously idiotic!

LITTLEFOOT

Yeah? Well, I'm the main character, so I decide what we're going to do. And I say we go play in the tar pits. Let's go.

Littlefoot and co. go to the tar pits and tries to see who sinks the fastest. This game is just as successful as you can imagine and they all get stuck in the tar. Because the director doesn't give a crap, we cut to them safely out of the tar pit.

CERA

Wow, it's a good thing we found that dino-jetpack in time. Otherwise, who knows what that UFO might have done.

LITTLEFOOT

No time for that, Cera, I just realized that the plot can't possibly go on without us!

DUCKY

But... how are we going to do that? There's already been three scenes and we're barely involved yet.

LITTLEFOOT

Let's do something completely retarded and see where that leads.

PETRIE

You mean, something stupider than swimming in a tar pit?!

LITTLEFOOT

Yeah... I can only thing of one other thing that'll lead to certain death in prehistoric times.

PETRIE

And what is that? Please, enlighten me.

LITTLEFOOT

Let's go piss off a T-Rex.

EVERYONE OTHER THAN PETRIE
Yaaay!!!

Scene 4

A newlywed T-Rex couple are watching their first egg. You're so lucky we skipped the dino-sex scene. They are in their den with many large dinosaur bones strewn around, making it look very uninviting. The mother T-Rex is actually very sweet and hospitable, but no one knows this because of all the prejudice when it comes to entering a cave that belongs to a T-Rex.

FATHER T-REX

What should we name it?

MOTHER T-REX

We don't know if it'll be a boy or a girl.

FATHER T-REX

So Shelly is out of the question?

MOTHER T-REX

You do know it'll hatch into a dinosaur, right?

FATHER T-REX

Hey, I never got the Archaeopteryxes and the Giant Prehistoric Bees talk from my parents, they died when I was a hatchling.

MOTHER T-REX

Oh, right, I forgot your dark and mysterious past that we shall never mention again.

FATHER T-REX

And now I'm bored. Let's go kill something.

MOTHER T-REX

Wait, what about the egg?

FATHER T-REX

Don't worry, nobody in their right mind would ever mess with the lair of a Tyrannosaurus family.

They leave. About ten seconds after they're gone, Littlefoot and his friends show up. 

CERA

Littlefoot, we're not supposed to be outside the Valley!

LITTLEFOOT

This is so cool... I'm sorry, Cera, did you say something?

CERA

I think that-

LITTLEFOOT

Yeah, that's great, nobody cares what you think. So, where's that T-Rex?

DUCKY

I don't see anything. They're probably looking for food or something.

LITTLEFOOT

You're right... C'mon, let's loot the place.

They walk through the cave but find nothing except for the egg.

LITTLEFOOT

Dammit, there's nothing here except for this stupid egg.

Two struthifreaks enter from out of nowhere.

STUTHIFREAK 1

Did someone call us?

CERA

No. No one called you. Now get out of here before I call the dino-cops.

STRUTHIFREAK 2

I'm pretty sure I heard something about an egg.

STRUTHIFREAK 1

Yes, yes, an egg. Where is it? I must have it! It... it's very important to me. I... I love it.

PETRIE

...Am I the only one here who thinks this guy needs to die?

LITTLEFOOT

Petrie, you're so violent! Remember, this is a kid's movie. I... I think. It's about animated talking dinosaurs, anyway. 

DUCKY

LITTLEFOOT, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU BREAK THE FOURTH WALL THEN I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

LITTLEFOOT

...The fourth what? Ah, screw it, we don't have time! Let's take the egg!

Littlefoot grabs the egg and runs before the Struthifreak can get to it. His friends follow, but only because they don't want to be left alone in a cave with the Struthifreaks, who swear revenge on them. 

PETRIE

Littlefoot, why, oh God, WHY did you feel it was necessary to steal the egg?

LITTLEFOOT

...

Littlefoot cannot think of a good reason, so he demands this scene to be over

Scene 5
The velociraptors have reached the rock that looks like a longneck, a landmark on the way to the Great Valley. 

RANDOM VELOCIRAPTOR

Hey, leader, how do you know about the Great Valley? Is it a real thing?

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

Allow me to explain in pointlessly specific detail. A few years back, I was desperately hunting a small herd of dino-four year olds for food. But before I went in for the kill, I heard them discuss the Great Valley. I wanted to know more, so I let them live for a while. I decided to follow them to the valley and then have a feast there. But they saw me and... well, I forgot what happened exactly. Considering I woke up at the bottom of a cliff with a new scar, I pretty much figured it out. Without any way to find the Great Valley, I gave up. But then later I met this brontosaurus dude who told me how to get there...

RANDOM VELOCIRAPTOR

I'm sorry, do you really believe anyone is going to read that intimidating wall of text?

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

...Shut up.

Scene 6

Littlefoot and his friends are sitting around in the Great Valley, staring at the egg. The director couldn't think of a good reason why they didn't get eaten by anything before they could get back, so we skipped that scene. 

LITTLEFOOT

What do you think will hatch?

PETRIE

Well, we found it in the den of a Tyrannosaurus, it is bigger than any egg we've ever seen, and, let me just clarify, we found it in the den of a Tyrannosaurus rex.

LITTLEFOOT

So... it's going to be a brontosaurus like me!

CERA

No, you idiot, it'll be a triceratops!

DUCKY

YOU'RE BOTH WRONG LIKE ALWAYS! IT'LL BE... uh... it'll be... whatever the hell I am.

PETRIE

Siiiiiigh.

LITTLEFOOT

I wonder if it's going to be a boy or a girl...

PETRIE

Why aren't we telling the adults about this? A t-rex egg in the valley is kinda a big deal, you know?

LITTLEFOOT

Shut up Petrie, the adults are all idiots and children are all the Second Coming. I thought you knew that.

PETRIE

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

CERA

Look! It's hatching!

DUCKY

What convenient timing!

The egg hatches into (big surprise coming) a baby T-Rex! 

LITTLEFOOT

Awesome, now we have our own child slave!

PETRIE

Didn't you just say... Sigh.

BABY T-REX

Who are you freaks? 

CERA

Aww he's so cute.

LITTLEFOOT

Wait... I got another great idea! Let's demand ransom from his parents!

PETRIE

Littlefoot, let's analyze that idea carefully. One: What the hell do you need from them? You're a dinosaur, there's no currency in this world or anything to bargain with. Two: They can just eat you and then take their child back. Three-

DUCKY

SHUT UP PETRIE OR I'LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND. LITTLEFOOT'S IDEA IS THE GREATEST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF GREAT IDEAS!

CERA
But he's so cute! Can we keep him? Please? Please?

At this point, the baby T-Rex decides it's time to slip away without anyone noticing.

PETRIE
What? But... he'd grow up to be a killing machine! And what would you feed him anyway? Demand the residents of the Great Valley to sacrifice themselves to him?

LITTLEFOOT
Petrie, you need to shut up and go back to being a retarded comic relief character. I like Cera's idea. Let's raise him and get back at those bullies who are always picking on me for having a stupid name!

CERA
Can I name him? Pleeeeaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee?

LITTLEFOOT
No. I'm the main character, and I say his name is Chomper.

DUCKY
Wait... where did he go?

LITTLEFOOT
Dammit! He got away. Everyone, we have to find him if we want to exploit him for anything! Let's split up and find him before he, you know, kills someone! Petrie, search for him in the sky!

PETRIE
Forget this, I'm going to go take a nap.

Petrie flies away as the rest of the dinokids begin to search for Chomper.

Scene 7

The two tyrannosaurs are standing together in a mountain-y area, having already discovered their egg is lost. If you watch the special features on the DVD of this movie, you can see the deleted scene where the father T-Rex lets out a big "NOOO!" that would put Darth Vader to shame. 

MOTHER T-REX

Are you sure this is a good idea?

FATHER T-REX

Trust me, it's a much better idea then barging into the Valley and destroying everything. This idea is a lot more subtle.

MOTHER T-REX

Why don't we just destroy the valley and take our baby back?

FATHER T-REX

Because it's Dino-Eden! There's a magical shield or some crap like that that keeps predators out. But if we get a spy to go in their undercover, get the baby back, and then possibly let us in, then-

MYSTERIOUS VOICE

Silence, fool! Do you want anyone within a five mile radius to know the plan?

FATHER T-REX

Are you....?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE

Yes, I am Pinkshadow.

A freaky pink dinosaur appears out of the shadows. 

PINKSHADOW

I'm not one for formal introductions, so let's get to the point: If I help you with the plan you just announced to the world, then you protect me and my family from predators like bodyguards?

FATHER T-REX

Sure.

PINKSHADOW

I never trusted Tyrannosaurs, but I guess I have nothing better to do. Okay, I'm going in.

Scene 8

Littlefoot, having found Chomper offscreen because we have that great of a director, is walking Chomper back to where he hatched, so he and his friends can decide what to do.

LITTLEFOOT

Chomper, if you ever run away like that again, you will be severely punished. You got that?

CHOMPER

Who the hell is Chomper? My name is-

Suddenly, a freaky pink dinosaur runs up to them.

LITTLEFOOT

Uh... who are you?

PINKSHADOW

My name is... uh... Crap, I forgot to make up a fake name... think of a good one... Ruby!

LITTLEFOOT

I wasn't aware we knew what a ruby was. I thought we just called them "red gems" or something. I mean, for God's sake, we call rain "skywater" and dreams "sleep stories"!

Ducky appears out of nowhere and punches Littlefoot in the stomach.

RUBY

Uh... okay then. Who is that T-Rex?

DUCKY

Oh, him? He's Chomper. Littlefoot wants to exploit him for child labor or something.

LITTLEFOOT

(after recovering) Don't tell people that, Ducky. We don't even know this freaky pink dinosaur!

RUBY

My name is Ruby.

LITTLEFOOT

Yeah, I know.

Cera and the other dino four-year-olds finally show up.

CERA

Hey guys. I just thought you should know that those struthifreaks are stalking us.

LITTLEFOOT

Oh no! Those are the most intimidating villains a Land Before Time movie has ever seen! Sharptooth himself would be terrified of them.

PETRIE

Littlefoot, leave the sarcasm to me, you're no good at it.

LITTLEFOOT

What sarcasm...?

CERA

Where'd Ruby and Chomper go?

LITTLEFOOT

Dammit! We have to find them! Let's go!

Scene 9: 

The velociraptors have reached the edge of the valley, where they see two Tyrannosaurs standing around. Always one to be a diplomat, the leader decides to talk to them.

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

Hey, what are you two doing here?

MOTHER T-REX

Well, considering you guys are velociraptors and thus the second coolest dinosaur ever, I suppose we can tell you. The herbivores of the Great Valley kidnapped our baby and now we're waiting for our spy to get in and break their defenses.

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

Why can't you just walk in and kill everything in sight?

FATHER T-REX

What do you expect? In Dino-Eden, predators can't just waltz in and eat stuff. There's a magical barrier called plot armor that rests like a dome around the valley.

VELOCIRAPTOR LEADER

I see... So you sent someone in to break their defense. May we join you in destroying the Great Valley? My pack has been looking forward to doing so for days. Two tyrannosaurs should be able to show us how it's done. 

MOTHER T-REX

Why, of course! We'll also be teaching our kid how to destroy stuff! 

The predators wait for a few hours. To pass the time, they discuss the best ways to set stuff on fire without opposable thumbs or access to fire in the first place, the meaning of life, and the best way to Rawr without straining your throat to much. Eventually, Pinkshadow shows up with Chomper.

PINKSHADOW

Alright, here's your kid.

MOTHER T-REX

Awww, he's so adorable! Honey, let's name him Chomper!

FATHER T-REX

Just like my own father!

CHOMPER

But, guys, that's a horrible name! I already decided on-

PINKSHADOW

Wait, there's more! I created a gaping hole in the side of the valley. You and your velociraptor army should be able to get through.

MOTHER T-REX

Excellent. We shall let you live for being so helpful. 

PINKSHADOW

I appreciate it. There's a ridiculous amount of herbivores in there, and they're all incredibly stupid. You should have an easy time destroying them. There's also a couple of Struthifreaks running around in there. 

FATHER T-REX

Eh, they haven't had enough screen time for us to care. Now, everyone! CHAAAARGE!

The tyrannosaurs charge into the hole in the wall. Because we're jerks, we're changing scenes back to Littlefoot and co.

Scene 10: The Scene Where All Hell Breaks Loose

Littlefoot and his friends are cornered by the struthifreaks, who want to get struthifreaky. By his friends, we meant everyone except for Petrie, who was smart enough to fly out of the valley.

STRUTHIFREAK 1

Now hand over the egg! The love of my life!

CERA

For the last time, you creep, it friggin' hatched!

STRUTHIFREAK 2

Don't lie! Only bad little girls lie! Are you a bad little girl?

LITTLEFOOT

Am I the only one who hears growling?

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a velociraptor jumps into the scene and eats Struthifreak 1! 

STRUTHIFREAK 2

HOLY FRUITCAKES!

Struthifreak 2 is eaten by another velociraptor. Suddenly, Littlefoot and co. are being chased by a T-Rex and a pack of velociraptors! Isn't that awesome?

CERA

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

DUCKY

Petrie, there's something I have to tell you. I... I love you!

LITTLEFOOT

THAT SON OF A BIRCH ISN'T HERE!

DUCKY

NEXT TIME I SEE HIM, I'LL KILL HIM!

Suddenly Spike, who hasn't been mentioned once until now, turns around and jumps toward a velociraptor. Immediately, they both explode.

CERA

WHAT THE HELL?

LITTLEFOOT

This movie is quickly deteriorating!

Suddenly, they are cornered! The next events are too awesome to be put into words, so we provided three pictures:

Pictured: The Great Valley, post Laura Is Bored

And thus, every living thing in the great valley is destroyed. Except for Petrie, that cocky son of a birch tree. 

But because we want to milk as much money out of this franchise as possible, we made eleven sequels!

...Somehow.

The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Explosion

The Land Before Time IV: Journey through the Wasteland

The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Crater

The Land Before Time VI: The Secret of Tyrannosaurus Rock

The Land Before Time VII: The Stone of Explosive Fire

The Land Before Time VIII: The Ice Age

The Land Before Time IX: The Journey to Promised Land

The Land Before Time X: The Great Velociraptor Hunt

The Land Before Time XI: Invasion of the Predators

The Land Before Time XII: The Great Day of the Volcanoes

The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Laura